老美突然问了句：中文关于做Ai，有多少种表达方法？ 也没想许多，拿出张纸来开始写

^_^Regal^_^

来一则，发生在我和另外一名美国留学生之间。当时他们都已经被诸如“戊、戌、戍、戎、戒”或者“己、已、巳”这样的汉字给折腾得快疯了，我很得意，经常有意无意就在他们面前夸耀中文的博大精深。结果有一天，这老美终于忍不住了
那天我又跟他们说起中文里关于“妻子”有多少种说法，“吃饭”又有多少种说法，如此等等。说着说着，这老美突然问了我一句：“K，你们中文里关于做Ai，有多少种表达方法？”


我听他这么问，也没想许多，就拿出张纸来开始给他写，穷举了从文雅的云雨交媾到粗俗的XX（注，此为屏蔽）等大概三十来种中文里关于做Ai的表达方式，完了把纸递给他，心想：你小子这下得服气了吧？

孰料那老美接过纸后扫了一眼，淡淡说道：“K，我们英语里关于做Ai的表达方式实在是太多了，一张纸写不下，今晚回去我e-mail给你吧。”

我愣住了，茫然地点了点头，说了声好。

那天晚上，我在自己的邮箱里看到了下面这份长得不像话的列表……

English words and phrases for sexual intercourse:


A

Aardvarking

Adam and Eve'ing It

Aztec two-step


B

Baking cookies

Baking the bean

Baking the tube steak

Balling

Banging

Bashing the beaver

Beast with two backs

Beating cheeks

Beating it up

Beating someone up with an ugly stick

Beating that thing up

Beaver busting

Being in a woman's Beef

Being up to one's balls

Being up to ya nuts in guts

Big Banging

Boarding the ham train to Pussyopolis

Boffing your brains out

Boinking

Boom-booming

Bone dancing

Boning

Bonking

Boofing

Bopping

Bouncing the bearded clam

Breeding

Buffing the beaver

Bumping and grinding

Bumping bellies

Bumping fuzzies

Bumping uglies

Burying the baby leg

Burying the bone

Burying the general

Burying the weasel

Burying the weenie

Bush patrolling

Busting

Busting a nut

Busting the cherry (first-time intercourse)

Buttering the muffin

Buzzing the Brillo

Buzzing the honey hole


C

Carnal gymnastics

Catholic roulette (especially without the use of birth control)

Cave exploring

Checking the old crude oil!

Chodna (Hindi)

Chopping

Churning butter

Cleaning her pipes

Cleaning the carpet

Coger / Cogiendo (Latin American Spanish. Warning! In Spain, it just means "pick

ing up" or "grabbing", while in Latin America means "urbhacked！:)ing")

Coming together

Cooping the chicken

Crackin'

Crashing the custard truck

Crawling across the floor like a water spider

Creaking bed syndrome

Creamin'

Culear(Spanish)

Cunt busting

Cunt poking (also applies to masturbation)

Cunt thumping

Cutting the mustard


D

Dancing the buttock jig

Dancing the matrimonial polka

Dancing the mattress jig

Deflowering

Devirgination

Diddling

Dinky tickle

Dipping the gravy boat

Dipping your wick

Diving in the dark

Diving for pearls

Doggy style

Doing a lewd infusion

Doing a load of laundry

Doing dirty work at the crossroads

Doing it

Doing some bed-pressing

Doing some ladies' tailoring

Doing some muff diving

Doing some nose painting

Doing some one armed banditry

Doing some rump work

Doing some up hill gardening

Doing the act of darkness

Doing the backseat mambo

Doing the Adriano Macchietto

Doing the backstroke

Doing the bad thing

Doing the bed boogie

Doing the four-legged fox trot

Doing the funky chicken

Doing the chores

Doing the deed

Doing the dirty dance

Doing the featherbed jig

Doing the four-legged frolic

Doing the hokey-pokey

Doing the horizontal bop

Doing the horizontal exercises

Doing the horizontal hula

Doing the horizontal hustle

Doing the horizontal Jog

Doing the horizontal mambo

Doing the horizontal polka

Doing the horizontal tango

Doing the humpty dance

Doing the Humpty Dumpty

Doing the mattress dance

Doing the mattress mambo

Doing the mommy-daddy dance

Doing the nasty

Doing the naughty

Doing the tube snake boogie

Doing the tubesteak fandango

Doing the ugly

Doing the wild thing

Doona dance

Drilling

Drilling for oil

Drilling for cervix

Drilling the ditch

Driving home


E

Ecchi (Japanese)

Enjoying a flesh session

Exchanging bodily fluids


F

Feeding the dummy

Feeding the kitty

Feeding the muffin

Filling the cream doughnut

Feeding the yoni

Finding a hot dog in a jungle

Fitting end to end

Fitting her clap flap

Fixing her plumbing

Flopping in the hay

Fooling around

Follando (Spanish)

Fornicating

Fraternizing

**ing

**ing his/her brains out


G

Genital exercise

Getting a belly full of marrow pudding

Getting a rock off

Getting a shove in your blind eye

Getting ahead

Getting beef in yo taco

Getting carpet tunnel syndrome

Getting creamy

Getting down

Getting freaky

Getting funky

Getting horizontal

Getting into someone's pants

Getting it on

Getting it up her guts

Getting Jack in the orchard

Getting jiggy

Getting laid

Getting oats

Getting parallel

Getting some

Getting some front door action

Getting some of that slippery action

Getting some stank on the hang low

Getting stretched

Getting there

Getting your cane waxed

Getting your chimney swept out

Getting your end wet

Getting your hair cut

Getting your jollies

Getting your leather stretched

Getting your lizard drained

Getting your nuts cracked

Getting your oil changed

Getting your rocks off

Getting busy

Getting your freak on

Giving a hole to hide in

Giving a woman a shot

Giving hard for soft

Giving her a hosing

Giving her a pat

Giving her the business

Giving her the high hard one

Giving it up

Giving juice for jelly

Giving kitty a taste of cream

Giving someone a stab

Giving someone the works

Giving the dog a bone

Giving the monkey a banana

Glazing the donut

Going at it

Going belly-to-belly

Going down under

Going fishing

Going halfsies/halfers on an orgasm

Going like a rat up a drainpipe

Going spelunking

Going to town

Goosing

Grabbing some snatch

Greasing

Greasing the monkey

Greasing the pole

Greasing the wheel

Greasing the axle

Grinding your tool

Growling at the badger


H

Haciendo el amor

Hammering

Harpooning the mustached whale

Hauling your ashes

Having

Having a bit of curly greens

Having a bit of fish

Having a bit of giblet pie

Having a bit of pork

Having a bit of split mutton

Having a bit of sugar stick

Having a bit of summer cabbage

Having a bit of the cramstick

Having a bit of the old in & out

Having a hot roll with cream

Having a joy ride

Having a nooner

Having a piece of tail

Having a poke

Having a quickie

Having a root

Having a shag (British)

Having a squeeze and a squirt

Having a turn on your back

Having an uppy downy

Having it off

Having nookie

Having one's way with

Having some afternoon delight

Having the beasty rendezvous

Heading South

Hiding the gerbil

Hiding the salami

Hiding the sausage

Hiking the South Rim

Hippity dippity

Hitting it/Hitting that shit/Hitting that thing

Hobbling

Hitting a homer

Hooking up

Hopping

Hopping on the good foot

Horizontal bop/hula/polka/mambo/tango/wahira

Horizontal Hussle

Horizontal Monster Mash

Horizontal sheet shuffle

Horizontalize

Hosing

Hot beef injection

Humping


I

Impaling

Impregnation

In and out

Introducing Charlie

Invasion of privacy


J

Jabbing

Jazzing

Jigging

Jiggling

Jodiendo

Juicing

Jumping her bones


K

Katydiddling

Knobbing

Knocking boots

Knocking mops

Knowing


L

Lancing

Laying

Laying cable

Laying some pipe

Laying the track

Lifting a leg on someone

Lighting one's fire

Lighting the lamp

Linking it

Losing the match

Lying feet up

Lyricism of the masses

Logging on


M

Making a baby

Making a deposit

Making baskets

Making ends meet

Making grass sandwiches

Making her grunt

Making it

Making bacon

Making babies

Making love

Making sauce

Making the beast with two backs

Making whoopee

Microsofting

Mingling limbs

Mixing your peanut butter

Mounting


N

Nailing

Nipping the bean bag

Nookie (when spelled "nooky" it means the vagina)


O

Ol' in out, in out

Oops

Overachieving


P

Packing the frank

Painting the door

Parallel parking

Parking (the car, the bus, the Audi)

Parking the beef bus in Tuna Town

Parking the pink Plymouth

Parting the beef curtain

Parting the Pink Sea

Passing the gravy

Paying the rent

Peeling your best end

Performing carnal gymnastics

Phallicizing

Picnicking in the lawn

Piece of ass, getting a

Piecein' it

Pigging

Planting a man

Planting your seed

Playing at in-and-out

Playing at tops-and-bottoms

Playing cars and garages

Playing doctor

Playing hanky panky

Playing hide the hot Dog

Playing hide the pickle

Playing hide the weenie

Playing hide the salami

Playing on the hair court

Playing pickle-me, tickle-me

Playing the slots

Playing the squeezebox

Playing tiddlywinks

Playing post office

Plooking

Plowing

Plug and playing

Plugging

Plugging the beef lodge

Plugging the main cable into her love socket

Pocketing the stake

Poking

Poking in the whiskers

Poking the bearded triangle

Poking the pie

Pole jumping

Polishing the jewel

Popping it in

Poppin' it to her

Popping one off

Porking

Pounding

Pounding the porch

Pounding the puppy

Praying with the knees upward

Probing the membrane

Professional wrestling

Pulping the garbage

Pumping

Punching the ape

Punching the chipmunk

Putting a bun in the oven

Putting the bee in the hive

Putting the boots to someone

Putting the devil in Hell (from Boccaccio's 14th-century novel The Decameron)

Putting your root down

Putting your snake in the grass

Putting sour cream in the burrito

Putting the candle in the pumpkin

Putting the beef in the taco

Putting the devil into Hell

Putting the "Lew" in Lewinsky

Putting the puppy in the dog house


Q

Quickie/Quicky (hurried intercourse)


R

Ramming

Ravishing

Rear attack

Reading Religious Poetry

Receiving a guest in the foyer

Riding someone

Riding the hobby horse

Riding the baloney pony

Riding the pink pony

Riding the pony

Riding the skin bus into Tuna Town

Ringing her bell

Rocking

Rocking it

Rocking off

Rocking the casbah

Rogering

Rolling in the hay

Rolling the cigar

Romping in the hay

Rooting

Roughing up the suspect

Rubbing bacons

Rubbing one out

Rump splitting

Running the naked wheelbarrow race


S

Saucing the clam

Sawing off a chunk

Schlopping

Schtupping

Screwing

Scrogging

Scrumping

Sexercizing

Sewing up the hatchet wound

Shagging

Shaking a skin coat

Shaking the sheets

Shock and awe

Shooting the moon

Shucking the oyster

Simple in-and-out procedure, a (My Cousin Vinny reference)

Sinking it in

Sinking the Bismarck - (taken from the infamous WWII German battleship that was

thought, at the time, to be unsinkable)

Sinking the soldier

Skinning back a freak

Slamming

Slamming the saussage

Slapping meat

Slapping skin

Slaying the dragon

Slicking Willie

Sliding down the banister

Slipping someone the hot beef injection

slipping in the pork sword

Slipping someone the tube steak

Smashing

Soaking the sheets

Sowing your [wild] oats

Spankin' the cat

Spawning

Spearing t

he bearded clam

Spelunking

Spinning the cheese

Splitting the uprights

Stabbing the trout

Star-gazing on your back

Sticking

Stirring her guts

Stirring the cauldron

Storming the trenches

Straightening the meat curtains

Stretching leather

Stroking the newt

Stuffing the beaver

Stuffing the taco

Stuffin Martha's muffin

Sucking the sugar-stick

Sweating the sheets

Sweaty rompin'

Sweetening the pot

Swiping the V-card

T

Taking

Taking a belly-ride

Taking a break

Taking a turn in the stubble

Taking an albino piss

Taking it downtown

Taking it to the car wash

Taking "old one-eye" to the optometrist

Taking the flesh Boat to tuna town

Taking the starch out of someone

Tango/ing

Tappin that ass

Taxing

Tearing off a piece

Telling a bedtime story

Threading the needle

Throwing a leg over

Throwing another log on the fire

Throwing the meat at her

Towelling

Trading a bit of hard for a bit of soft

Training through a tunnel

Trimming the buff

Tuna Town


U

Ugh ugh


V

Validating your parking pass

Vaginal bungee jumping

Vaginal masturbation

Varnishing your cane

Vatican roulette (especially without the use of birth control)

Visiting down under

Visiting the Netherlands


W

Walking the dog

Wallpapering the closet

Watering the lawn

Waxing

Waxing the pole

Wetting the hose

Wetting your wick

Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am

Whitewashing

Whoopie

Winding the kinetic watch

Winding up your clock

Windsurfing on Mount Baldy

Womb masturbation

Woohoo

Working the hairy oracle

Wrestling


Z

Zallywhacking

Ziggy-wiggling

Zoinkering

Zug Zug

Zwooshing the swoosh

老外都看不懂的···

看不懂。。。。。。。。。。。。。