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标题: 海外生活的华人,缺乏的是属于自己的气场 [打印本页]
作者: 海浪 时间: 23-3-2015 05:45
标题: 海外生活的华人,缺乏的是属于自己的气场
最近,一直有朋友跟我建议去聊一下如何可以更好的融入国外的环境,如何可以更好的交到靠谱的朋友,甚至如何让国外的人不去歧视我们这类的话题。思前想去,我觉得我找到了一个有趣的点可以切入,来聊一聊这一类话题。纯属拙见。
英文里面有一个单词,叫做charisma。记得第一次有特别的深刻的印象接触这个词的时候是大学一年级上的一节Leadership(领导学【领袖学】)的课程。一个学期的时间下来,教授用人类文明史的发展的时间轴作为参考背景,带领学生们研究古罗马凯撒大帝时代的领袖风采,探讨当今政坛奥巴马的领导演说技巧。Charisma这个词每节课都会被无数次的带出来。
中文字典给这个词的翻译是:感召力,魅力,超凡的个人魅力,甚至是神明授予的超凡能量或者才能。
但是我觉得中文的“气场”这两个字,无比的强大。因为它不仅仅涵盖了Charisma这个词,而且意义还要远远高于Charisma这个词。
气场:是你的言谈举止
很多中国留学生在美国比较恐惧的一件事情就是做presentation。因为我们总觉的英语不是我们的母语,我们怕在做presentation的时候出丑。于是,在学期初课上分组的时候,中国留学生往往会战略性的凑堆儿,然后加入一些美国人的小组。很多美国人套样这样的中国人,因为目的性太明显了,平时都没有说过话,临阵“抱大腿”。对于很多中国学生来说,这样一来目的就达到了,学期末做presentation他们可以偷工减料了。
首先我想说的是,英文说的烂,说的难听,说的不标准,这都不是让人觉的耻笑的地方。因为每个人的语言天赋不一样,你去讲了,努力的去跟人家解释了,人家听明白了,这就说明你的英文说到位了。出国上学,几年下来连最基本的生活技能:语言这个东西都没有掌握,去做一个presentation抱有这样的态度,那请问出国几年混一个学历下来又有何意义。(至少要知道,在国外混出来的文凭,在国内越来越不值钱。)
其次,课上分组,抱有可以偷工减料的想法的那些去参加美国人小组的中国学生的这一行为已经彻底让自己没有一点儿气场可有。这些美国人不是傻子,他们可以很清楚的搞明白这些中国学生的想法。而中国学生的这种行为也更让美国人增加了那根深蒂固的对亚洲人的偏见:书呆子,学术派,工程师,会计,总之,以后都是为美国人打工的。
有人说,在国外生活,外语说的流利了,自然就能够hold住一些气场了。其实这还远远不够。我记得去年阿里巴巴上市时候,马云在纽约证交所接受采 访时候的那段讲话就是非常的有气场。在国外生活久的人,肯定都会觉得马云的英语还是有一定的口音的。但是那又怎样?如果你仔细看那段视频来观察马云,他说出的每一个词,每一句话都非常的有魄力。尤其观察他的眼睛,非常的有神。
对,眼睛。
小的时候经常听到一句话,说:眼睛是心灵的窗口。现在长大了,感觉确实是这样。一个人的眼睛,眼神可以传达出太多太多有价值的信息了。而没有气场的人,往往是眼神迷茫的人。前一段时间,我接到了一个我母校的一位大四女生的邮件。这名女生是美国人,她说毕业以后想去广告公司工作,但是本科的背景是商科的金融专业,就业方向与倾向她都很清楚,但是就是不知道怎么去策划下一步需要做的事情,想听听我的建议。
于是我跟她在学校旁边的一个咖啡厅碰面,当面聊这个话题。这个女孩虽然人非常好,但是同她聊天的一开始就感觉很没有能量。与我聊天的时候,她的眼神是飘来飘去的,但是你又知道她不是在走神。我问她为什么想做广告,得到的答复是因为她不想去做金融,觉得广告好玩儿。“那你能说说你最喜欢的一条广告么?”“或者你觉得广告哪里好玩儿?”她想来想去眼里充满着迷茫,飘忽着不自信。那天也没能聊出个什么结果来。
之前我在文章里面聊到过,当你想要去做一件非常有激情的事情的时候,你的那份激情可以是很自然的,滔滔不绝的,流淌出来的。而这个女生没有让我感到她对广告有什么激情。从她得眼神里,我也看不到一个广告人(或者想成为广告人的大学生)应该有的气场。
每年坐美联航的航班,飞机上都会有很多中国留学生。这些留学生里面可以分为两类人,一种是有气场的,一种没气场的。有气场的往往是彬彬有礼,有绅士风度,热心,幽默,能够让人觉得可以接触的那种人。比如说飞机行李架上的行李摆放不是很规整,让后面上来的人不方便放行李的时候,往往会有一些年轻的小伙子,有时候也有大姑娘站起身来,指挥安排行李的摆放。这样加快了乘客登机的速度,也帮了空乘们的忙。再有就是空乘服务的时候,在美国接受到好的文化洗礼的留学生,会礼貌性的说声谢谢,并且会暂停眼前的电影或者放下手中正在做的事情。这小小的举动却是对人家服务的认可与尊重。而没有气场的往往是那些叽叽喳喳,小事闹大,没有礼貌的中国留学生。空乘服务的时候对人家爱答不理的,也不会说声谢谢。飞机行李架没有位置了,就可以跟空乘大吼大叫的。这类的事情也就是所谓的无气场中国留学生干过的事情。不仅没有气场,而且还遭人鄙视。
气场:是你的原则与信仰
我们中国人的一大优点就是包容性很强。尤其是到了国外。其实这是一件好的事情。只不过很多时候美国人不会感激你的包容。因为这是一个强调主张鲜明个性的民族。
我的高中是一所非常严格且保守的教会学校。从我入学的第一天,学校的老师和同学就开始和我探讨关于我们中国的一些话题。从历史到政治。我发现他们的思考与看法与我所受过的教育完全不同,而且很多时候是过于偏激的,甚至会有歧视性的发表他们的意见。我刚刚到学校的时候16岁,英语很差,但是能够听懂他们说的是什么。一开始学校里的人阐述自己的观点的时候,我还会顺着他们聊,后来发现越顺着他们就是给予他们谬论观点的一种肯定。于是我开始跟他们辩论,辩论的后果就是被叫到校长办公室,但是我也从中练习到了我的口语。
记得2008年汶川地震后的第一天,我早晨看完新闻后哭红着眼圈儿来到了学校。熙熙攘攘的走廊里,学校牧师30岁的大儿子看见我后,跟我讲的第一句话就是:我跟你肯定你们国家政府虚报了昨天地震的伤亡人数,呵呵呵。讥讽的将这句话放在我耳边后,扬长而去。
看着他的背影,我吼了一句:FuckYou!
然后我跟他说:Now this is how you Christians demonstratethe love to the world. You don’t give a single fuck about the people who diedin this earthquake; and at the meantime you joke about my country and my governmentfor your own entertainment purposes?!
因为这件事我吃了处分,并且被要求写检讨。我跟学校的说处分随便给,让我退学都行,但是检讨不会写。
这件事情之后,让我更深刻的明白在国外生活把持自己原则与信仰的重要性。基督徒可以有他们极端的原则与信仰,那么我们也可以有我们的,如果想强大,我们更是必须要有原则与信仰。
后来大学的四年里面,经过在社团,兄弟会,学生会里面有过领秀经历之后,更是巩固了这些软技巧。
研究生这两年在Brandcenter进修广告,所有的project都是小组提案类型的。很少有需要自己完成一件什么事情的时候。于是,小组会议就成了每天必不可少的一项重要活动。前两天春节,我计划好了,周三的早晨(也就是国内大年三十的晚上),我会在家包饺子,与家人视频。周四,周五,以及周末的大部分时间我都会放在春节的庆祝上面。我提前跟我的几个小组的组员打好了招呼,从周三到周日我能够放在项目上的时间会非常有限。大家提前把需要做的事情做好就可以了。
结果在我预料之内,我们组里那个平时总是不会按时交东西的那个人在周二的晚上跟我们发邮件,希望周三早晨在学校开会。我说不行。他跟我说这是你们中国人的年,你现在在美国,不能这样自私吧?我的给予的答复是:这个是事先说好的,你没有完成你的部分是你的责任。
气场:是“不骄不傲,不卑不贱”
孔孟文化教导我们要谦逊。我们来到异国他乡,总觉得自己是一个外国人。这里的文化,饮食,住行都与我们来自的地方是有着截然的不同的。于是,出于对他国文化的尊敬,也算是为自己不迈出那个非常舒适的comfort zone找一个理由,很多中国留学生在很早的出国后为自己划出了一个圈儿。这个圈儿叫做“谦逊”。作为学生,我们好好学习,拿考GPA,考GRE,最后拿一份稳定的工作。整个过程中,只要这一个主线是顺利的,只要可以拿到工作就是万事大吉。
在这个圈儿里待得时间越久,你就会待得越舒服,同时也会与主流的大环境脱离的越远。等到需要找工作的时候,开始埋怨国外对外国人工作的政策不合理啊,还是怪学校没有好的资源,或者开始负面的思考自己这些年出国上学是否值得。
有些条件好的人,则会相当的傲的人。我见过因为自己有一个绿卡不用为工作身份发愁的中国人来找我资讯的时候的那种牛逼哄哄,也见过因为自己父母有几个钱在我这里炫耀的。相信不光我见过,你身边也有这样的人。
古人说,读万卷书不如行万里路。而可笑又可悲的事情就是现在有太多的中国人行了万里路,也读了万卷书,最后面子是自以为是又骄又傲,里子是被人瞧不起的又卑又贱。
当一个人可以用一颗人人平等的平常心去看待这个世界的时候,去尊重身边的每一个人的时候,去有一种得到他人发自内心的尊重的时候,这个人的气场就算是小有规模了吧?
气场:是你
每个人的气场是不一样的,因为我们每个人都不一样。
习大大的气场与奥巴马的气场风格迥异。
马云与乔布斯的气场也是截然不同。
但是这些人都有着强大的气场。他们有激情,有梦想,有毅力,有着很多成功人士所具备的各种优秀条件。但是最主要的一点是,他们在他们的人生经历里面不断的完善着自己。他们在做着自己。
作者: asd1234 时间: 23-3-2015 07:25
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作者: 钓鱼岛是俺们的 时间: 1-6-2015 12:49
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作者: 钓鱼岛是俺们的 时间: 3-6-2015 12:45
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